英语搞笑话剧剧本,菁选3篇(2023年)
英语搞笑话剧剧本1 人物:追星A,追星B,追星C,明星,车主旁白经纪人 旁白:AgirliscrazyaboutastarcalledHandsome+人名.Evenwhensheisaslee下面是小编为大家整理的英语搞笑话剧剧本,菁选3篇(2023年),供大家参考。
英语搞笑话剧剧本1
人物:追星A, 追星B,追星C,明星,车主 旁白 经纪人
旁白:A girl is crazy about a star called Handsome+人名. Even when she is asleep, she can dream that man.
A:(打哈欠),I need to go to bed, I’m so sleepy.(打哈欠)——边走边说 (趴在讲台上睡)
(进入梦乡)
旁白:In her dream……
(上台摆两个凳子,A做一个)
A:Oh, it’s a fine day. (假装看天) (然后突然不经意的拿起一本书翻看)
明星:(上台):Oh, it’s a fine day. (然后坐凳子)
(A看着看着书,就不经意的往旁边看,然后再看看书,突然感觉不对劲,在意外的往旁边看,看到了自己最喜爱的.那个明星,十分激动,不敢相信这是真的)
A:Are you … are you that … super star?(激动地说不出话)
明星:(随意的回答) Yes, what’s wrong?
A: I’m your fan,super fan. Your photos are full of my bedroom, no, they are full of my house, including kitchen, living room, bedrooms, and… and toilet.
(激动,后面讲到厕所时,还有点不好意思)
(当明星听到厕所时,很惊讶)
明星:You are too…enthusiastic [in,θju:zi"?stik]. (有点嫌弃)
A: Can you give me your signature?
(讲到签名,明星就兴奋了)
明星:Ok ,of course!
A:(大声喊)Oh ,I will have the Handsome______’s signature
(突然,两个人跑过来,B把A给推开了然后两人问明星要签名)
B:Please ,please give me signature!!!!!!!
C: No, give it to me, to me!!!
(两人抢着,A一人孤零零的站在旁边,)
A: Why the result is this ?(抱头痛哭,边走边哭,然后走到睡觉的那个地方,恢复原来的样子,还有点啜泣)
A: Er? Where is it? Oh,it’s just a dream , but ,it’s a bad dream.
It’s too early, I want sleep.(又趴下去)
旁白:In her second dream, the scene is at the crossroads.
A: Look at the tall buildings, they like the …like the …I don’t have any adjrectives to describe them.
(明星上场,走在对面,也在欣赏某些东西)
A:Oh ,look at there, that man is like a star ! Oh ,Oh ,Oh ,(一次比一次激动)he is …..he is…..Handsome_______!I want his signature! But there is too much cars, What can I do? What can I do? I don’t care this any more, the signature is more important!
(正当他准备过马路时,车主做开车动作来了,将要撞A,A很害怕)
车主:Look out!
Aon’t come here, don’t come here!(闭着眼睛) (车主迅速下台)
(A突然站起来,睁开眼睛)
A:A dream .too? Oh, my god, Why do I always can’t get the signature? No, I must get it, sleep again! Yes ,sleep! But ,why do I stand here? I should lie in the bed. Whether these, I must go to bed and get the signature!(趴着又睡)
旁白:In her third dream
(明星在签名,A前面有B, C)
经纪人:One by one,Don’t be wrought-up
A: Yeah,I can get it at last. Before me ,there are only two people.
(到B)
B:I love you very much. My dreamlover.
明星:Thank you
(B下,C上)
C: Oh,I meet you ,can I hug with you ?
明星:Sure.
(两人抱了一下)
(到A)
A: I can get your signature in the end! I’m so excited
(明星面目有点难受的样子,手捂着肚子)
明星:Sorry, can I go to the toilet for a moment? My stomach is hurt a lot.(难受)
A: Yes, make yourselfe at home.
(过来一会儿)
A: Handsome_______ has gone to toilet for such a long time. Is he ok?
经纪人对A说:Sorry, the girl, Handsome_____ perhaps can’tcome here to give you signature, He is too hurt. He went home.
A: Ah? Why always me ? (伤心地离开,走到睡着的地方)
(突然起身)
A :Why always me ? I only want a signature~~ ai~~ What time is it now ? (看了一下钟,表情惊讶) It’s near 8 o’clock .I can’t arrive at the school on time! Oh no ,hurry up hurry up!
英语搞笑话剧剧本2
Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)
by Cecilia Liu 劉怡芬
5人短剧。
人物
Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen
Eliza Lin: Daughter
Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside
Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)
Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)
SCENE I
A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.
Mom: Hello~
Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.
Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!
The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…
Mom: Hello~
Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?
Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.
Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)
Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)
But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…
Mom: Eliza~
Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?
Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.
Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.
SCENE II英语剧本大全ww.coffbar.com
Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.
The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.
The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.
Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)
Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.
At this moment, the girl appears.
Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?
Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.
Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!
Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!
Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!
Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?
Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?
Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.
Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.
Eliza: Never mind!
Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?
Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…
Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.
Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.
Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~
Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.
Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!
Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.
Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.
Eliza goes with the gangsters.
In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.
Eliza: What are you doing?
Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!
Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.
Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?
Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.
Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!
Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!
Eliza keeps crying.
Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!
Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)
Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)
Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.
Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.
SCENE III
Mother is preparing dinner.
Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!
No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.
Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.
As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.
Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!
Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.
Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!
Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!
Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!
Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)
Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.
The gangster takes the phone away.
Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.
Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.
Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?
Mom: Bargain is my hobby.
Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.
Mom: O.K. See you then!
At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.
Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)
The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.
Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?
Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.
Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?
Big gangster: Where is the ransom?
Mom: Release my daughter first!
Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!
Mom: No way!
And the battle begins.
Mom: Justice is always the winner.
Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!
Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.
Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.
Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?
Small gangster: I……
Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)
Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.
Eliza: Me! Me!
Celine: What do you want to say?
Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!
Mom: My turn. My turn.
Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?
Mom: Well……
Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.
Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…
Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.
Mom: Right. And they…
Celine: They want to trick you, but…
Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.
Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.
英语搞笑话剧剧本3
第一幕 开场白
旁白:Long long ago there lived a beautiful princess, and there is a big family. But the hostess died. Her son is handsome and goodness. Her husband married another wife. The stepmother is very cruel to the son. One day their King will hold a ball and choose a prince for his daughter.
B: Girls in the other side look at me, look at me, look at me …I am David, handsome and cool. I try my best to loose my weight for this ball. This is my photo three days ago.
C: I am rich and humor. Look at my snow-white teeth, because I use the famous toothpaste---Peer.
A: Oh, Can I go to the ball?
B and C: No!
B: Look at yourself. The clothes are so bad and dirty.
C: Yes, yes.
B: Your hair …(用手拨几下)
C: What a mass!
B: Your face
C: Black and dirty, you seemed like a frog.(B拿出青蛙的照片)
B: How can you go to meet the beautiful princess?
Stepmother: OK, children, let’s go!
C: Mum, what about him?
Stepmother: You, just stay at home to do some housework.
A: But, Mum, I want to go there.
Stepmother: Oh, OK.
B and C: Mum, why do you take him? Don’t you think he will loose our face?
Finally, they go without A.
第二幕 仙女下凡
A: Why Why Why I can’t go to join that ball.
旁白: At this time a beautiful fairy appear.
Fairy: Ahh, my poor child! What things make you so sad?
A: The beautiful princess will held a ball, but my stepmother and my brothers don’t let me go there.
Fairy: My good boy, let me help you. (拿出一套礼服)
A:(喜出望外,准备去参加舞会。)
Fairy: Wait for a moment. Don’t forget your shoes.(拿出一双耐克鞋)
A: Thank you, my respectful fairy.
第三幕 一见钟情
旁白:A is wearing beautiful clothes going to the palace as quickly as possible, but his brother and stepmother have already arrived.
门卫:The next, the Trade’s first son.
B: Oh, beautiful princess. I have greatly admired you for a long time, and you are like a Pizza in my heart.
Princess: Please wait for a moment, what talent and skill you have?
B: I’ll sing a song for you. (Singing) Only you
Princess: Pass.
门卫:The next. The Trade’s second son.
C: La la I am a
Princess: Pass.
旁白:At that time A was appearing on the front door of the palace. All the people were shocked by his handsome and demeanor.
A: Beautiful princess. Can I sing a song for you?
Princess: Sure, please.
A: (扶着公主从宝座上走下,两人目光对视,走成一个圈,开始唱歌)。
旁白:All the people seem to disappear. Only A is left in the princess’s eyes. And so is the princess. Dang dang dang the clock strikes 12. A is waken from the happiness.
A: Princess, I must go now. I am very sorry.
Princess: Wait
旁白:In a hurry A dropped one of his shoes. But the princess was following him.
A: (A look at princess and that shoe he has to go into the forest.)
第四幕 丢失的鞋
旁白:The next morning, the guard brings the shoe to the princess.
侍卫:My princess, this is the shoe left by Yang Master yesterday.
Princess: That’s great! God save me! Go and declare: Whoever can wear this shoe will be my prince.
第五幕 结局
旁白:The guars declared this thing in the whole city and it caused a big sensation. The two prince of the Trade are more excited.
B: Oh, it’s so beautiful. I’m sure I can wear this shoe.
C: Do you think it is possible? Only I can wear that shoe.
Stepmother: Stop talking, my dear sons. Go to get ready for it quickly. The guards will come in no time.
旁白:A was sweeping floor more and more slowly. The guards came in.
侍卫:This is the shoe. Come and try it.
旁白:At this moment B caught it quickly, tried it and murmured.
B: why can’t I put it on?
Stepmother: My dear, let me help you.
旁白:The mother pulled B to the corner cutting his toe. Then B put the shoe very hardly.
B: My princess, let’s go.(一瘸一拐)
Princess: No, you are not my prince. Take off the shoe.
C: Let me try. Let me try. (murmuring)I cannot wear it either.
旁白:The mother pulled C to the corner again, and cut his heel.
C: My princess, let’s go.
Princess: No, you are not my prince, either. (一瘸一拐)
侍卫:Who else doesn’t try to put on the shoe here?
A: (In a low voice) Let me have a try.(A put the shoe without any difficulty. It just fit him. And A took off his dirty clothes again.)
Princess: Wow, you are my prince.
Princess and Prince got married. Then they live together and they are very happy.
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